Giving up is when you have a chance to change things, but you think it’s too difficult or not worth the trouble or just stop pursuing something and just give up on the spot.
Moving on is when you realize that you can’t change things or that it’s better that you don’t try any longer giving up or failure isn’t the best option. Moving on is another thing, moving on as in that you wouldn’t look back to the past and that you would be more successful than failure.
I gulp down the last strong drink, causing my throat to burn with a passion. Bringing my hand up to feel my face, feeling the dryness because of the earlier tears. I feel weak, and worthless, and most of all, I feel as if I serve no purpose on this Earth without Harry. It’s been one month. One long, dreadful, depressing month without him. I can still remember the night it all happened. That night my whole world not only fell apart, but disappeared. I’ve heard people say that it’s as if I’m not even alive anymore, but how could I live without the one person who cared for me, and protected me, and saved me from my self misery. I sometimes hear his raspy voice speak to me. Every where I turn, he’s there, watching over me. It was 27th of May. We were arguing, all day actually. He walked away from me, trying to get across the street. The headlights were speeding towards him and before there was any time to react I see the colossal impact. Tires screech and a blarring horn scream in my ear. I see his body slam against the front of the vehicle, rolling onto the hood, and immediately back onto the road. Tthe shattering glass slice his face and arms. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream, I could hear my heart hammering in my chest it echoed in my head. I then realised that I was holding my breath. I eased the air out of my lungs slowly. He was laying there, motionless. My world started to slow down and spin. Before I knew it, I was on the ground. I crawled and kneeled by his side. I brushed his luscious locks back with my fingers, feeling his soft forehead. A flood of tears gushed down my cheeks, down to his face, and slide off. I bent down and laid my forehead on his, giving him an Eskimo kiss. This is just a dream. I’m going to wake up soon, I thought. I stroke my thumb across his pale cheeks. I trace every detail of his flawless face. I was shocked, but now, I just feel a rush of pain hit my like a freight train. All the bright colors around me seem to drain right out like paint being washed away from the rain. The smiles and laughter of those around us seem to be tiny and fake like they are coming from very far away.. Being surrounded by many, many strange faces, yet I feel completely and utterly alone. There is a huge gaping hole in the middle of my chest that aches a terrible ache. I hear the sirens and all of a sudden I am pulled away from him. They lift him into the ambulance, and I watch them drive away with his body. That was the last time I saw him. So now, I’m here. Alone. Drinking away my pain, knowing he’s looking down on me, and is disappointed for my actions. I walk outside into the foggy, rainy weather. The lightning illuminates the dark, starless sky as I walk. I walk for awhile, not feeling a thing. I’m not hurt nor do I feel any pain anymore, I’m just numb. I’m tired of laying in bed all day, not wanting to talk to anyone, staring at a blank wall, listening to the silence in our, I mean, my apartment. So I walk for long hours. I just walk, never stopping. I reach the spot I wanted to. The cave right on the shore of the beach. I walk in and sit on the rocks, looking at the writing on the walls with the only source of light being the moon entering the cave through cracks. I read the words the were written with a sharp rock months before. I could remember it all like it was just yesterday. I feel my chest start to ache. I pull out a bottle of pills and I drop four into the palm of my hand. I throw the bottle behind me as I step out of the cave. I took off my shoes and step-by-step making footprints, I make my way towards the water. I can smell the salt in the water, and I hear the waves crash against the sharp rocks dug into the sand. My feet are tickled by the soft, warm sand slipping through my toes. I look up and notice one small, but bright star. I smile. This is just a dream, I think to myself again. I’m about to wake up, and be with you again, my love. I smile and pop the pills one by one and push them back with my tongue. The sounds around me start to get quieter and quieter as I walk deeper into the ocean and the water level getting higher. I see a figure in front of me. A tall, lean man whose curls are flying back because of the strong winds. He holds his hand out and I reach out to take intertwine our fingers. I see a bright light in front of me, and I feel.. myself slipping into my final endless, peaceful sleep.
Casually sobbing everywhere, I cannot with this. <3